A Nice Lady

I do not enjoy taking my children shopping. There. I said it out loud. It's the truth, I avoid it as much as possible, strategically planning my errands so that I can go with as few offspring as possible. It keeps me a little more sane. There are those times that it cannot be avoided and I am always a little bit intimidated by the unpredictableness of toddler and preschooler behavior. Often they surprise me and behave as angels complete with shining halos. Often they do not. On occasion I have left a store and sat in my car and tried unsuccessfully to hold back tears of humiliation. Just keeping it real, Yo. There are probably those of you out there who have your troops marching in perfect order behind you with smiles on their little faces as you browse the aisles. God Bless you. Are they robots? Where can I order some?

Today I was pleasantly surprised. Not because the under five set behaved themselves but because of the kindness of a stranger. I needed to run a quick errand in a not so child friendly store. I thought I had all my bases covered: Toby in the wrap, Gemma in the umbrella stroller, Jack......well, he was roaming free but I had given him the pep talk. There is a little pep talk I give before entering a store. It goes something like this: "We are going to be good in the store today aren't we? Let's listen to our Mommy and this will be FUN!" Inside I am mentally crossing all of my fingers and toes, hoping the trip doesn't take a turn for the worse.

We made our selections and all was going well. I was proud of the crew for behaving themselves so I offered a treat. (keep your bribery opinions to yourselves please, desperate times call for desperate measures. I like to think of it as "rewarding positive behavior") The choices were: a Laffy Taffy or a Sugar Daddy. Two perfectly acceptable options. But not in Jack's mind. He was going for the mother load. He eyed the candy display and saw many, many more appealing choices. The tantrum began. I was paying at the time and there he was, throwing a fit on the floor at my feet. He is the king of ultimatums and he was dishing them out left and right. I stayed calm and I stuck to my guns (although I was thinking some of my own ultimatums inside my pretty little head). At one point I was handing over my debit card to the cashier while trying to wrangle the little mustang in my arms. He went all wet noodle on me.

Many times in the past these kinds of scenes have gone down and I have just cringed on the inside. I look around and start to worry about what everyone around me is thinking. "Just give him the candy so he will shut up." or "Get your kid under control lady." or who knows what. This morning the cashier made my day. "You are doing great." she said. Just four little words that gave me the energy to go round two with my little munchkin. I mumbled something about winning the battle, finished my purchase, and herded Mr. Meltdown out the door to the car. It was at that point that I realized that Gemma was holding two little stuffed animals that we didn't pay for. We turned around and went back in, returning them to the display. The ladies behind the counter chuckled. It took me a few minutes to get the kiddos buckled into their respective carseats. As I started to pull out of my parking spot, the lady who had checked me out came running out of the store. I had left my debit card on the counter. I laughed and made a comment about it being "One of those days" and she said the sweetest thing. She told me that she had been so distracted by the beautiful way that I handled my sugar-hungry hooligan (not her exact words) that she hadn't noticed my card sitting on the counter. It made my day. I pulled out of that parking lot with a renewed confidence in my parenting skills and not one single tear in my eye.

I don't tell you this story to brag myself up. I am completely aware that there have been plenty of times that I have caved and given into my preschooler's demands so that we could just get out of the store without causing a scene. There have been other times that I have held my ground only to fall apart in the car. I tell this story to show the power of an encouraging word. That lady behind the counter spoke just the right thing to me at just the right time. We have all seen a kid melting down in public before, sometimes we look away and other times we stare. How about a kind word to the mother? It just might make her day.