I remember.

There was something special about this new born baby. I kept his little cocoon swaddled body tucked tightly by my side, our sleep to be interrupted too often by nurses poking and prodding, taking blood pressures and heart rates. His velvety skin remained close by my cheek as we dozed those first few nights together. I was in my own little heaven, despite the hell going on outside our hospital door.

Caedmon was born at 12:30am September 11th 2001. We had spent the evening before at the highschool football field, watching my brother play and counting contractions. Shortly after midnight, our fourth child made his entrance into the world, a world that was about to change and take us unawares.

I woke early the next morning, eager to make more phone calls announcing our happy news. Nate was probably waking and showering and would be up to the hospital to visit me soon. But my first visitor that morning was our Pastor. He came in the room and told me that a plane had crashed into a building in New York. "Wow, that's too bad." I thought. I pictured a small little two seater in a fluke accident probably due to a navigational error or something. We turned on the TV and the rest of the story unfolded before our eyes.

I am ashamed to admit that I was a little bit irritated that every visitor, every nurse, and everyone I came into contact with wanted to turn on the television. They would come into my room and sit on the end of the empty bed beside mine and watch report after report of the tragedy. In my own way, I was truly sheltered from the reality of what had just happened to our country. As soon as the visitors would leave, I would shut off the TV and go back to my own little bubble where I was a mother of a new born baby.

My dad was on a business trip to California when Caedmon was born. When it was apparent that travel would no longer be possible by plane, he immediately got in the long line to rent a car and prepared to drive himself back to Iowa. To his family. To his new grandson. And he did just that. It took him two days and nights but he made it in time to hold little Caedmon before we checked out and left the hospital.

I feel like I was living in a parallel universe on September 11th 2001. I feel like I missed the whole thing. I do not mean to diminish the huge amount of loss that happened that day, so much devastation and so much pain. But when I remember 9-11-01, I remember the first time I looked into Caedmon's innocent eyes. Five years later, I remember.


Read Nate's memories of that day here.