But today I think I will go a little more serious.
I think the adjective to describe me lately is "distracted". I find distraction creeping into every area of my life. If you look around my house, you will see tell-tale signs. The pot of coffee that I started to make, I poured in the water and started to grind the beans, but I was interrupted before I could turn the pot on. There is the lineup of laundry baskets, half of them are empty, but I never got back to the rest of them. I am reminded of the painting I started on our bedroom wall. Beautiful shiny silver script of love poems and quotes. I was very pregnant at the time (with Jack I think) and I couldn't get down on the floor on my belly to write the last few lines. Ummm, yeah, that's still not done. The girls' dressers are primed, but never painted. The Christmas decorations are put away, but the living room is not put back together. I could go on and on.... You've all probably read "If You Give A Mom A Muffin." It made the email loop a while ago. They wrote that about me. (at least I'm pretty sure they did) But it goes deeper than stuff around the house.
It has spilled over into my identity as a mother. I am a MOTHER not a house keeper. Yes, I need to run an orderly place around here and at least keep the toilets scrubbed and the kids fed. But what about reading books, and dressing up like ninjas, and doing puzzles? Why is it so hard for me to join Tyler in a little two player on the Nintendo, to be a part of his world? Why don't I let Noelle use her Easy Bake Oven? If I was honest, it's because it's too much work for ME. How do I get so wrapped up in stupid stuff that I have to try to think really hard to remember if I hugged Camryn today. Have I let my "duties" distract me from a deeper relationship with my kids?
But the area that scares me the most is my relationship with Christ. Have I become distracted here too? I think maybe I have. Sometimes the daily stuff distracts me from spending more time in the Word. I can pray while I'm doing dishes, but my mind easily wanders to my to-do list. I think the biggest distraction for me is works. Sometimes I just get this list of things in my head that I THINK I SHOULD be doing to make God happy. It's almost like I am trying to earn my way into favor with Him. Like I'm buying a palace in heaven with my good deeds. I get distracted by legalism and I forget that He loves me. He saved me by His grace and He just loves me. The more I love Him, the more I will WANT to do the things that please Him.
I want to get back to the basics. A simple, orderly home. A family who is confident of my love because of the time I spend with them. And most importantly, an undistracted love for my Savior.
Luke 10:40-42
40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
She came to him and asked,
"Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?
Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered,
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered,
"you are worried and upset about many things,
42but only one thing is needed.
Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
13 comments:
Thanks so much Heth. I will take a few minutes to think about what is really important for my day today.
I think we all get sucked into the unimportant stuff partly because it is so tangible. I can say that I cleaned the house but sitting and reading with my kids doesn't sounds like I have accomplished much--yet I have. Thanks for the reminder, I can always use it!
Great post.
It's great to see beneath the surface. Thank you - that was a great post!
I think we're twins.
Except I do blog about personal stuff, and it does bug me that several people know WAY more about me than I do about them. It's just...weird.
distraction is a big part of satan's plan...it's awesome that you recognize this!!!
Fabulous post, Heth!
+hugs+
Hi, it is my first time here and you described me too!
I am in process of reclaiming my home. This time I am sorting through and giving away more of my babies... um... my books.
Next it is the laundry room!
Well, I like you "a little more serious" too. It's a hard balance for all of us to find, you recognize it... you're a step ahead of most of us. Thanks for the reminder, I just might need to play a game of Yahtzee tonight.
The list of things undone, half-finshed, never completed are the evidence of the important crowding out the urgent. Like the time you take to recover the peanut butter Caedmon is hiding from you on the couch, but don't belittle him for it. And the times you bring Jack back from checking out what lies beyond the driveway but don't scar him for life because he scared the bejeebers out of you. The times you snuggle, teach, correct, encorage, direct, influence and challege your children are all far more important than we realize. We all think that doesn't count for anything because it isn't visible and always warm and fuzzy, but in fact, it's what you have been called to do and you do it tremendously well. When you are feeling humble and poor in spirit over it all, that's right where your Father wants you- dependant on Him. He's working in you and through you and to be so transparent lets us get a glimpse of God at work in your life. Excellent blog.
You have touched on something that we all struggle with, Heth. Don't feel alone. Know that every mom out there sympathizes and we all just have to take it day by day and do our best. I think you'll find you're doing better than you think.
Now there's a blog with honesty and impact. Thank you for being transparent and willing to say what the rest of us wish we could put into words.
Ahhh...I too need to take inventory of my life, reset priorities, etc. Relationships are of utmost importance, especially my relationship with Christ (but you probably wouldn't know it of late.) I know what you mean also about being open and transparent sometimes. It's scary to look deep in our hearts and find things lurking that we wish weren't there. But wishing them away isn't dealing with them. It's refreshing to hear that you struggle just like everyone of us. You're on the up when you identify a weakness. Blessings!
I love this post. Thank you for sharing. I feel the same but haven't been able to articulate it. I've always known I was a Martha...in the bad way. :) But the thought of what that legacy will do to my children is heavy on my heart this year. I will keep you in my prayers.
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