Suicide or Murder?

I can picture him teetering on the edge of the fishbowl, standing on his little tail fins.
"I'll jump! You don't believe me? Life isn't worth living anymore!"

Or was he pushed?
His buddy looks awfully guilty.

Oops, I Did It Again.

Nate lounged on the couch, remote control in hand, innocently surfing all six channels we receive with our basic cable package. I stood before him with a sneaky smile on my lips, hands behind my back holding something secret. I grinned and told him "I have something behind my back and I just wanted to show you, you aren't going to like it." About ten seconds passed and a look of realization and panic passed over his face. "DON'T DO IT! Don't dye your hair red!"

He knows me so well.

I was just strolling through the big Walmartizzle last night, searching for milk and hair clips and other important things, when those crafty sirens that grace the covers of boxes of permanence and semi-permanence called to me from the hair color aisle. I usually avoid it altogether because I know my own weakness. I'm telling you, it's almost like withdrawal or something. I go so long with the same color or cut and I just. can't. stand. it. any. more. Normally this would mean a panicked call to schedule an appointment with my fabulous, wonderful, awesome, miracle worker of a stylist, but she had to go and have a baby and is on maternity leave. While I am ecstatic for her and her husband (this is their first), I secretly and selfishly want her to get back to work asap. There is a higher calling and it is to style the hair of the women of America. Let's get our priorities straight people!

So without her guidance and wisdom and counsel to stay away from my old friend Clairol, I caved. It was a moment of weakness. I was giddy. When I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and opened the box, I felt the rush that only home hair color can bring. People. They know me. The marketers have researched me well. They know that instructions featuring a cartoon drawing of a beauty with high cheekbones and a sharp jawline can suck me right in. The gloves! The pointy topped bottle! The smell! I've got it bad.

I applied my "spiced tea" with care only spilling on the bathroom rug once. I waited for ten minutes watching the clock like a hawk. I rinsed. I conditioned.

I AM RED!

But only for 28 shampoos.

(And you have to know that I won't have pictures. Remember, I choose to live in the stone age of a film camera.)

A Big Fat Thank You

I got home from vacation and there was a UPS package waiting for me. Tanya over at Crafty Girls sure lives up to her name. She is crafty in both senses of the word. She put together this fabulous collage of my kiddos and even included some tattoos. What a sneaky little thing, that Tanya.

Just A Whole Lot Of Randomness

Have I mentioned that school starts tomorrow? Yippee! The kids always do a great job the last few weeks of summer, making the transition easier for me. They make sure to pull out all the bickering and antics that they have so that I'm not too sad to send them back to the classroom. They are doing it for me. Really. The school supplies are bought. The pencils are sharpened. The backpacks are packed. Everyone has a new pair of shoes. We are ready.

I also mentioned that I'm ready to get back into some sort of routine. Normally we just fly by the seat of our pants around here. Most of the time that works. After a summer of just winging it, I'm ready for some structure with a capitol S. Regular bed times. Everyone leaving the house in the morning to get educated. (everyone except for the three little musketeers) More devotion time with less interruptions. (The less interruptions thing is just a theory) Everyone eating together, and eating actual meals, not just whatever I can think of at 5:30. And best of all...(shout it with me, with joy) REGULAR BEDTIMES! Hallelujah.

Another thing I'm really excited about is that I just started training for another half marathon. I ran my first one ever last June and fell in love with running all over again. Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of my first race ever, a local 10k that kicked my butt and then spit in my face. As I stumbled across the finish line that day, I vowed I would never run a race again. A couple days later I was wondering if I could run 6 miles faster than I had in the race. That's when it began. I liked running for reasons other than trying to lose weight. I had actual goals. A couple months after running my first half marathon, I found myself pregnant and slowly had to taper the running down. Now I'm ready to give it a go again. I've been building up a base of mileage and yesterday was the official day one of our nine week training plan. I'm running with two friends, Kelsey, who is possibly the sweetest person you have ever met in your life. Seriously. And Natalie, a dear friend for, WOW!, 8 years now. Good gracious. This is her first big race and she is such a trooper, battling some foot issues but still cranking out the miles and with a smile.

Happy news on the clothes front. I bought myself two running skirts. People. These skirts are the best thing ever. I picked them up at the Nike outlet and I'm deeply in love. Nothing makes you feel more feminine than a skirt, and when do you need to feel pretty the most? When you are sweating like a man. Like a large, sweaty, stinky man. No matter how bad my b.o. at least I'll look like a girl.

Last but not least, I'm dying to share some of my vacation photos with you. I took four rolls, somebody stop me. But after reading what happened to my friend Gretchen, I'm really, really hesitant. In fact I think I'm going to wait until I'm able to watermark my photos before I post anymore of them. The Internet is a scary place sometimes.

I hate to end on such a downer. Let's end with something happy.

School starts tomorrow.

I Guess It's Better Than The Disney Channel

You know summer time boredom has reached a new high when your daughters resort to watching the jewelry channel for hours at a time. As I reached to shut it off they protested, "But mom Spessartite garnets are not being mined anymore. And they are selling them for $29.99 and up!"

Oh, well in that case...

Vacation is Over and I am Hobbling Like an Old Woman

We were gone on vacation all last week. It was our annual trek up to the lake. A trip that usually should take about 6 1/2 hours and we always manage to make it closer to ten. This year was no different. We stopped every twenty minutes for potty breaks as is our Laundry Family Custom. This year we stopped at a particularly fancy spot. Treasure City. Oh. My. I have never experienced a store quite like that one. The kids had plenty of hard earned cash to blow, they had been doing odd jobs all summer and mowing lawns, just for this specific moment in time. We left with many small purchases. My three favorites? A mini metal pistol key chain. An overpriced model ship. A ring made out of a polished rock with googly eyes. The ring takes the cake.

Once we arrived we spent most of the week on the beach, soaking up the sun or the clouds, depending on the weather. We didn't care. The lake temperature was in the seventies. It was Fab. U. Lus. It was great to see Ann and Eric again. Ever since they moved to Ohio, we have looked forward to this week together at the lake. And we ate pancakes. Lots and lots of pancakes. Or at least I did.

But the week ended sorely. Literally. For the first time we tried a little water skiing behind the jet ski. We borrowed a pair of youth skis and let Tyler and Noelle have a go. Noelle was such a trooper. She tried for awhile but just couldn't get up. Her legs were pretty tired so we turned it over to Tyler. He got up first try. Punk. The next day I thought..... "Hmmmmm" I've never water skied before. That might be kind of fun! So I headed out with Nate pulling me behind the jet ski. After forty five minutes or so of trying, I gave up. Apparently you need abdominal muscles to water ski. I have none. I am now fully aware of other muscles that I didn't even know I had. My forearms hurt, my biceps hurt, my hamstrings hurt. It's ridiculous really.

After all the fishing the kids did, Jack (4) is obsessed with fishing. He has been asking all day long when we can buy him a fishing pole to play with in the house. Finally he got so frustrated with my dismissive answers that he looked outside at the rain and said. "Mom! It's raining outside because you won't buy me a fishing pole!" Yes son, that's how the weather works. Parents everywhere, heads up. If you want sunny weather then you must give in to all your children's smallest whims.

Now today I am hitting the unpacking with a vengeance. I WILL NOT leave these suitcases laying around for a week. (Mostly I'm just saying that to myself as sort of a pep talk.) School starts on Thursday. We need a little routine in our lives. No, we need A LOT of routine in our lives. I am so ready.

Confession (again)

(originally posted on August 21st 2006)

Dear Kids,

I just wanted you to know what kind of a mother I really am. All that talk of sharing and of selflessness that I blabber on about, well, I'm a hypocrite. I need to get something off of my chest.

Today, while I was out running errands with Gemma and you were all at home with your Aunt Mariah, I made one special stop. I stopped at Mc Donald's and bought myself an ice cream cone. It was a very, very tall ice cream cone. Not at all a baby cone like I always make you all get. Gemma's carseat is directly behind me, so I know she didn't see it. I ate that ice cream cone all by myself and I did not share with anyone and I did not buy one for any of you. In fact, when I realized that I wasn't going to be able to finish it before I got home, I did something terrible.

I parked a block away from our house and I ate that ice cream cone in peace and quiet. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Aside from all of your births of course.

And also there is a box of Twinkies on the top shelf of the pantry that none of you know about. They are all mine.

Sincerely,

Your Mother

It's Been a Week Since My Last Post. Good Gracious.

Last night Toby went to his second movie. Two movies at two months old, he's a regular little film junkie. Nate had been out of town for the past two weeks. I have been home with the kids and no van (that's a whole other story I'll have to tell you sometime) and my left eye was starting to twitch. Yesterday Nate returned and took me out. Toby joined us. We went to dinner with friends and then to see The Bourne Ultimatum. Interesting choice considering I have never seen the Bourne Identity or The Bourne Supremacy. But whatever.

Toby was a champ. He sat and watched the movie. Seriously. It must be some kind of a testosterone thing. At his young age, he already enjoys a good fight scene and a little bit of a car chase. But then he decided he was done and he let us know it by pulling one of those projectile barfs. The front of my shirt was literally soaked. I think that means he gives the movie two stars, being the critic that he is. It was good times. When we left the theater I looked around carefully just to make sure there were no secret agents following us. You can tell a secret agent by the ear piece. Just a tip for you there. We were all clear, no one trying to assassinate us today. At least as far as I know.

I Sure Set a Fancy Table

Check it out.



I wasn't kidding when I told you we scored on the Domino's cups.

Dryer Diving

My dryer has slowly started to take it's precious time drying our clothes. It's been a fabulous slave of mine, I work it very hard. It was time to crack the whip.

This morning I used muscles I didn't even know I had and I pulled and tugged on the dryer until it was spun completely around and away from wall. I had Noelle, who is about two inches wide, squeeze back there and start pulling things out from behind while I took the vent tube off and started digging for wayward lint. Good times.

Our spoils included 24 hangers that were playing hooky behind the dryer. We have a dowel hanging above the washer and dryer and I hang all shirts up there. It is just out of reach of the children so when they want a shirt to wear (since we never put laundry away), they yank on the sleeve of the shirt until it comes down, sending the hanger flying. All hangers have been retrieved.

I dug out enough lint to a stuff a small throw pillow. Now there's a craft for a lazy summer afternoon. Lint Pillows.

Switching to an unrelated topic, or so you would think, here is a picture I took last fall of our new sand box.

We were going for a natural look. We strategically planted big boulders to keep the sand contained and I planted lots of perennials around the boulders. It doesn't look so sparse this summer, the plants have all grown and filled in, it really looks great. The kids love to bring small rocks and leaves and sticks to the sandbox to make little "meals" and various other interesting concoctions. Now notice the small white box at the top of the photo. You see where I'm going with this don't you?

Sand. There was plenty of sand present in the ventilation tube. And also three golf ball sized rocks. I'm honestly surprised that is all I found stuffed down the hole. I fully expected to find a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Now I am enjoying the quiet hum of my newly cleaned out dryer. Dry away little buddy. And I can rest in the peace of mind that our house is not going to go up in flames due to a rock/lint stuffed dryer vent. Because those are the things I worry about.

New Shoes

Yesterday it was serendipity when I stumbled across these beauties. Aren't they cute? Don't you just want to pinch their cheeks and make kissy noises? I do. When I saw that they were under five dollars, I didn't even blink. I slipped one of them on my foot just to make sure they fit and then I threw them in my cart and went on to do the shopping that I actually came to the store to do. I can't go to Target and not look at shoes. It goes against everything I believe in.

Fast forward to this morning. I'm getting the crew ready for church and was ready to start loading them up to leave. Sunday mornings are a bit of a whirlwind and shoes and lip gloss are the last things on my list of things to do. Like every other Sunday, I slipped my shoes on just before I walked out the door and I put my lip gloss on as I drove away from the house. I finally took a deep cleansing breath as I sat myself down in the row, all the children delivered to their classrooms. I noticed that one of my shoes was rubbing a bit and causing a little discomfort but I expected that out of seven and a halfs. I probably would have been more comfortable in an eight but they were out and what are you going to do? No pain, no gain. It's a motto I live by. I looked down at my feet and was perplexed. Why was my right shoe an inch and a half longer than the back of my heel? I took them off and flipped them over. 7 1/2 on the left shoe 9 1/2 on the right. Yes, you read that correctly, my right shoe was two full sizes bigger than the left. This is a new shoe shopping low. Never have I purchased shoes of completely different sizes and worn them for a half an hour before noticing. I guess love truly is blind.

Adventureland

One of my fondest memories as a kid was my parents waking us up one summer morning and announcing "We are going to Adventureland today!" Adventureland is a little theme park in Des Moines that isn't really all that awesome, but to a kid it is the BEST. We went there every few years during my childhood and I loved it every time. We would spend weeks counting down the days until we went. But I especially loved the year that Mom and Dad surprised us the very morning we went. Nate and I decided we wanted our kids to have the same memory so last Friday we woke them up early and announced, "We are going to Adventureland!"

When we walked through the gates, the smell of hot asphalt on a summer day hit me and I felt like a kid again. Except that now I can't stand any rides that spin faster than a carousel. Even the carousel is pushing it. Love the rollercoasters though. WOOT! We even learned a few things while there. Who says that theme parks can't be educational?

Noelle learned that some games are not winnable and used up all her money trying.











Nate learned that he can throw a ball fast enough to win a cheap plastic helmet.














I learned that it is possible to take WAY too many picture of the kids on the carousel.














I also learned that taking a picture of myself on the carousel is tricky and borderline dangerous.














Jack learned that he isn't quite tall enough to experience death defying rides.














We all learned that when you are four, catching a frog takes time. Lots and lots and lots of time. Frog catching is an art.














We learned some other things that I don't have pictures of. Things like:

• It is entirely possible to spend three thousand dollars on funnel cakes and lemonade.
• Big, colorful popcicles are very fun and very sticky.
• Mom may have a panic attack while riding the Ferris wheel with a baby, a two year old, a four year old, a six year old, and an 8 year old. Holy cow, Ferris wheels freak. me. out.
• The duck pond water, while very enchanting in appearance, is actually extremely stinky and full of duck poop and you might not want to slip and fall in.
• Age is no indicator of braveness. Some six year olds are willing to ride anything.

It was just a fun as I remembered. I hope my kids remember it when they are 30.

Summer Lunch At the Laundry Pile House

PB and J, Assembly Line Style

Change

We have had a big life change at the Laundry Pile house. I've been putting off posting the news, not because I'm not excited about it or didn't want you all to know, but because there are so many different ways I could write about it. I just haven't been sure which way to go.

I could take the laundry route and say it this way, " I'm going to be washing a clergy cassock now and I'm not sure if those are dry clean only or not."

Or I could take a super-spiritual route and explain how God has completely directed even the smallest details of our lives and continues to do so in ways that just amaze us, including this new path. Especially in this new path.

Or I could just come right out and say it: Nate quit his "regular" job and has accepted the Pastor of Student Ministries position at our church. He has worked with the youth for almost 8 years and now it's his full time job. We are thrilled.

As we approached this decision, we had to answer some hard questions. The three questions I personally wanted answers for pertained to being a pastor's wife.

1. Do I have to wear pantyhose all the time? Even when I'm scrubbing the toilet?
2. Are there any secret casserole recipes I should know about?
3. Do I need to know how to play the organ?

Just so you know, Nate doesn't need to wear a cassock. Most days he leaves the house in a t-shirt and shorts. I know you were wondering.

This really has been an amazing time. The last three months or so have been a pivotal point in our lives. God has shown Himself to be so trustworthy. I have learned that He not only guides the big moments but also cares about every little detail. I know that sounds so cliche, but it became real to me through this transition. Like I said at the beginning. I don't even know how to write about this. I'm having a hard time putting all of my feelings into words. So like Mary, when she had a big event in her life, (the birth of our Savior!) I think I will just stick to pondering all these things in my heart.

I Got the Hospital Bill in the Mail Today.

The little hook that breaks your water: $8.30
Delivery charge: $1615
Staying overnight two nights: $1430
Ibuprofen 800 MG: $3 each
Plus a whole lot of other charges that are way overpriced

Bringing home this?

Priceless.

My "Toby" Wrap

"What Kind Of A Shirt is That?!"

A lady asked me that question this weekend. If there was a store that sold shirts that come with cuddly little babies inside, I would be a regular shopper there for sure. I know I've said it before and if I've said it once, I've said it a million times. I love my Moby Wrap. So does Toby.

Another Reason Why We Call It The Beast

What draws more attention than a big red twelve passenger van? A big red twelve passenger van with really, really, really squeaky brakes. Remember when you were fourteen and you were riding in the car with your mom and dad and you pulled up next to an extremely hot guy at a red light? Remember how you were so embarrassed that the hot guy would realize that you actually HAVE parents and that you actually ride in the car with them? Remember how you wanted to dive under the seat and hide?

That is how I feel about my brakes. Except that there is no hot guy, just a pimply teenager at the drive-thru window. And I can't hide under the seat because I'm the one driving.

Tuck in the Thumb and Hold Those Other Four Fingers Up High

Jack turned four on Sunday. As is tradition in our family, the birthday child gets to pick his or her birthday meal. We have had a lot of things but I don't think I have ever served macaroni and cheese, applesauce, and Cool Ranch Doritos at a birthday party before. Good choice Jack.

Looking at Personal Hygeine Through The Eyes of Preschooler

The toilet paper supply was getting low so I stocked back up with a huge jumbo pack that almost takes two people to carry. It was sitting in the kitchen with the rest of the loot I had purchased at the store and one of the little ones came into the room and wanted to help put things away. I pointed them towards the toilet paper. Then I started putting the rest of the stuff away and I forgot about it.

The next time Toby needed a diaper change, I headed towards the stash I keep in the corner of the living room. There you will find almost every size of diapers or pullups that the store sells. What else did I find? A jumbo pack of toilet paper. But when you think about it, it kind of makes sense...

Because You All Asked

Here are the kids and their friends in the hats. Five of the Laundry Pile kiddos and two Children of Joy. Apparently when you are 12 you don't want to be caught wearing a firecracker crown, and when you are 1 month old, you are are way too cool for that kind of stuff. But everyone else was game.