The Census, Revisited

I knew it was only a matter of time. The Census Bureau called. I knew they were going to. Our statistics were just too big for the 30 page booklet and they needed to verify. (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you might want to catch up here before reading on)

The call showed up on the caller I.d. and I didn't recognize the number. So I did like I do with all unidentifiable numbers, I ignored it and waited to see if what they needed was important enough to leave a message. You know, like a recorded message from a congressman about a "Town Hall meeting" or a credit company letting me know that I can CONSOLIDATE MY LOANS TODAY! The minute I heard the voice on the other end, I knew I was doomed. It was the government. They wanted me to call them back.

I waited until nap time when all three of the littles were sound asleep. I figured the government didn't want to hear Gemma asking repeatedly for a snack, since she reacts to me being on the phone like Pavlov's Dog at the dinging of a bell. All things off limits suddenly become fair game when mom has the phone to her ear. It's a good thing I waited because I needed all the focus I could get to understand the woman on the other end of the line. She had a very strong Asian accent and I had a hard time understanding much of what she said. Hopefully my answers made sense. My children's names were like vocal obstacles for the poor lady and I'm not sure who exactly I was answering the questions about. If only she would have stuck to their code of numeric people. Person 1-10.

I did my civil duty and I reported all of our stats to the government, hopefully correctly. I am thoroughly convinced of this though and I would make it into a bumper sticker if I could. "Big families. Stumping the government, one file at a time."

I sure hope that's the last time I hear from them.