Statistics

We have been chosen.

A few days ago we received a letter informing us that our address had been chosen to be a part of the U.S. Census Bureau survey. "Oh fun!" I thought to myself. "I like filling out surveys and questionnaires!"

And then it came.

This baby is a 30 page book with an accompanying pamphlet to serve as a guide for filling it out. The fine print informs that "The Census Bureau estimates that, for the average household, this form will take 38 minutes to complete, including the time for reviewing the instructions and answers." They haven't met us, obviously.

I spent a good hour this afternoon checking little boxes. I feel no animosity that Nate gets to be Person 1 and I have to be Person 2. While laboring over page thirteen, Person 3 sent me a text asking me to bring his football pants to school. "Sure!" I replied, "But not until I pick up Person 6, Person 7, and Person 5." Then I took a break to nurse Person 10.

So here is the general overview of the people who live at this address as the U.S. Census Bureau sees us:

Person 1, a 34 year old white male who is not of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin, is living at this address. He is married to Person 2, a 32 year old white female who is also not of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin and who also resides at this address.

Persons 3-10 are their biological sons and daughters. They are also white, not of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin.

These People live in a one-family house detached from any other house. It was built between 1970 and 1979 on less than an acre. There is no business or medical office on the property. The house consists of six rooms (excluding bathrooms, porches, balconies, foyers, halls, or unfinished basements) three of them being bedrooms. The house has hot and cold running water, a flush toilet, a bathtub or shower, a sink with a faucet, a stove or range, a refrigerator, and telephone service. Two vehicles are kept at the home for use by members of this household.

And so on and so forth.

I had to chuckle when I got to the part that broke it down person by person and wanted to know details about their education, income, and physical, mental, and emotional conditions. For example:

Questions 18

a. Because of a physical, mental, or emotional condition, does this person have serious difficultly concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?

It's a good thing they clarified about the cause being a specific condition. Person 4 and 5 have an awfully hard time choosing a candy bar. Depending how many little people need her and are whining at her feet, Person 2 sometimes has a very difficult time concentrating. As does Person 6. Persons 3, 6, and 7 have a very hard time remembering where they put things. (and sometimes forget to bring their football pants to school)

b. Does this person have a hard time walking or climbing stairs?

Persons 3-9 have a hard time climbing the stairs that lead to their rooms. But this difficulty only seems to occur at bedtime.

c. Does this person have difficulty dressing or bathing?

Persons 3, 4, and 5 make it difficult for anyone after them to have hot showers.

Question 19: Because of a physical, mental, or emotional condition, does this person have difficulty doing errands alone such as visiting a doctor's office or shopping?

Persons 8-10 make it very difficult for Person 2 to visit the doctor's office, shop, go to the dentist, talk on the phone, exercise, go to the bathroom uninterrupted, etc. etc. etc. I'm just sayin'.

Ok, I better wrap this up because Person 10 is crying and I'm pretty sure that Person 9 needs his diaper changed. Persons 5-9 are watching tv and I should be making supper while they are quiet.