Census 2010.
Remember this? And then this? That was just the warm up round. Pre-census if you will.
A second booklet came in the mail this spring and I filled it out, same as I did last fall. They couldn't possibly call again could they? They wouldn't, would they?
Fast forward to this evening. I'm in panicked rush, trying to get Rice Krispie treats made for the VBS program that the kids need to be at in twenty minutes. I was mid text and my cell phone did that super fun and friendly thing it does when someone calls while I'm texting. It automatically answers the call whether I want it to or not. Guess who was on the other line?
The Government.
They just had a few questions about my census form.
Of course they did.
So I answered them, again. I stood over by the door that leads to the deck, because that's where the best recpetion is, second only to being out on the deck. But it was downpouring.
"Did Nathan J. Laundrypile live anywhere other than your residence on the months of March and April, 2010?" No.
"Did Nathan J. Laundrypile serve in the military and live away from your residence during the months of March and April, 2010?" No
"Did Nathan J. Laundrypile have temporary residence somewhere else part of the time during the months of March and April, 2010?" No
"Did Nathan J. Laundrypile travel for work and stay away from your residence for an extended period of time during the months of March and April, 2010?" No
"Would you eat them here or there, would you eat them any where? Would you eat them with a fox, would you eat them in a box?" No No No.
I said the word "no" not less then seventy five times, I swear. Then they moved on to the kids. The kids' whose names they can't pronounce. Which is fine, we named them weird names, I know that. I just felt bad for the poor lady. And I think in her job description, it specified that she had to read every single question in it's entireity for every single one of the kids. But we finished and I think she was satisfied with my answers.
And then I remembered the marshmallows and butter, melting on the stove.
I'm convinced that Caesar Augustus had the better idea, making everyone return to their home town to register. Much simpler. "See my family? Here we all are. We really exist, I'm not making all these kids up."
I've decided to change my bumper sticker from:
"Big families. Stumping the government, one file at a time."
"The U.S. government. Burning whole batches of Rice Krispie, treats one phone call at a time."
13 comments:
Poor little Rice Krispie Treats. Maybe you should send her that batch. Loved this post!
Wow. You handled that well. I know how you feel about sugary things like Rice Krispie Treats. ;)
You are such a good writer. Love it, Heth.
THIS is why you're still one of my most favorite bloggers after four years. Stinking funny.
The SAME thing happened to us! The form came early this spring, I filled it out and mailed it back within 2 days. Then the census worker came to the door to fill out a form for us. I told her I mailed one in a month before, but she said "oh, it must have gotten misdirected" or something to that effect. I made her stand at the door and answer all the questions outside, rather than invite her in to sit down. Two hours after she left, I got a call from a census worker, to ask about my form! Argh, I told him I just had someone at my door that very day, asking the same questions I had answered on the form a month before, and I was not going to answer them AGAIN. Then I got a phone call a week later, but this time it was follow up questions to the form that I had filled out. Of course, they were still questions I had answered, but I guess they had to ask again?
What a waste of money, making these people go out and harrass us, to get answers they already have. Ugh.
And, to top it all off you kept getting phone calls from a pesky friend who just wants to chat and chat for no real reason! Love ya!!
Sigh. They called us, too. We didn't all fit on the form, so they needed the rest of the information.
We were impressed the guy knew how to spell Beatrix's name, however, and didn't refer to her as Beatrice at all. That's rare.
And to think I was once employed by said Census Bureau. The inefficiency of our government disgusts me. Burned Rice Krispie treats disgust me even more.
Did you buy stuff at IKEA? We need to hear about your haul! :-)
We got a call, too. All of us didn't fit on the main part of the form. I made sure to ask why those of us who filled out the form in a timely fashion were being harrassed. OH - and our neighbors who didn't send theirs in (one child) - I got a visit and a phone call for them, too. Ugh.
We keep getting phone messages from the census - hmmm, wonder if having six children has something to do with more questions.
Great post!
We got the call too and with 5 kids it was none to fun. I kept telling the callee that my answer was NO to all of her questions for each person and she insisted it was a 'law' she had to follow and therefore had to ask the same set of questions for. each. individual. person. Arghhhh
I just read your blog for the first time on a friend's recommendation. Love it! And I think you're a much better woman than me when it comes to “civic duties!” We didn't fill out and return the census form because the questions were not in line with what the Constitution permits for a census. We live WAY out in the boons, and delivery trucks usually cannot find us, so I though we'd be left in peace. Yesterday, I came home from a homeschool group outing to find a note on the door from the friendly neighborhood census worker, threatening that he would be back in a few days to extract details of our lives. Sigh. I guess I'll have to tell him how many people live here and then educate him on the fact that the law only allows him to collect our numbers, not our names, ages, how many brownies we consume each year, how old we all were when we potty trained, what breed and religion our dog is, and all the rest. :-). In light of all that, your very funny post made me laugh. I'm glad you made them work for our tax dollars... too bad you didn't get paid for all your efforts and burned rice krispie treats.
I really got a kick out of this post. I happened upon it looking for pictures of laundry for my blog "livingABOVEthelaundrypile.blogspot.com" I didn't know your blog existed when I came up with that--honestly, but I feel a kinship. I love your writing--keep up the good work!
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