I am flabbergasted. I mean, I knew it was bad but I had NO IDEA! You may have read my side bar. There's a little blip about socks and kids and blah blah blah. And the commas. I make my disclaimer about the commas.
Now I know I write how I speak. I'm pretty much ignoring all of the sentence structure and punctuation rules. Because I'm a grown up. Because I can. Because. I'm also completely aware that none of those are sentences. I just wing it. It's my blog and I'll fragment if I want to.
It's just that I had no idea how badly I have been butchering the English language until tonight. Tonight I had the humiliating revelation that I am, in fact, not smarter than a fifth grader. Camryn asked for help with her homework and we wrangled it. We wrestled it. We punched it in the face. It still beat us. It completely trashed a frustrated ten year old and a frazzled thirty two year old. Simile, metaphor, hyperbole, personification. Independent clauses, dependent clauses, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I remember learning all of it somewhere in the past but it left my brain a long time ago along with the correct way to write in cursive. So I print with flair! Sue me!
I realize that this has got to drive some of you crazy. I do my best to keep my they're, there, and theirs straight. I try not to confuse two, to, and too. But if you came here expecting a literary masterpiece, you've come to the wrong place. All you're gonna find here are awkward phrasing, a whole slew of incorrect punctuation, and the occasional dangling modifier.
How embarrassing.
17 comments:
Did you think to ask Wellie....she might remember...I sure as heck wouldn't! I remember using an old World Book encyclopedia when one of the kids needed help multiplying fractions and jim wasn't home...lol yb
In the past week I have had to contact my mother on the other side of the to clarify a point of grammar AND have had my knowledge of Australasian geography (MY home territory) by a 10 yo English child!
it doesn't help that they change terms, rules, and stuff and call it "new math" or "new whatever" ... that is my excuse and I am stickin to it!
I don't care. And I like grammar. But I'd much rather read what's going on with you and laugh with you than worry about sentence structure. Keep on keepin' on, baby! ;)
I think perfect English is terribly overrated and completely boring. *wink*
i like the way you write. a lot.
I like blogging because I can get away with lazy writing. I don't have to think, just unload the thoughts into words on the screen in front of me.
I just wouldn't let my kids read mine if they were not almost all adults. Blogs that aren't so perfect, I feel perfectly at home reading. As if I was visiting...keeps it real. I feel so at home when I come here.
P.S. You are an excellent writer.
What I'd like to know is..
Did you have to google how to spell "Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"?
I would have.
Punctuation, grammer, spelling aside..I can decipher (yes, I googled it) all your ramblings. Love it. Keep it up!
Just think how much you will know when you get 8 kids through 5th grade! But don't change the way you write your blog- it's grand the way it is!!
One year, I consulted our supervising teacher,(we homeschooled our children), about a grammar question we just couldn't get figured out. Suprisingly, she told us that we could contact 5 different college language departments and get 5 different answers to our question. "Nuff said!
I just had to do this with my 10th grader. They keep repeating this stuff all the way through Senior year, I think! I was a whiz at English, but really? Who the heck uses or remembers any of it as an adult? I just googled the different types of speech, which included examples usually, and we had it.
Your writing is fun and readable and not at all awkward!
Hey, we all love your blog! No matter how you write!! We keep coming back don't we? I don't even know you in real life! But I still love to read about your life with your little ones!! Makes me feel sane! LOL.
5th grade english is kicking my butt.. but so did 4th grade.. i just choose to remove all punctuation to drive people like ang nutso :)
agree with momsie.. by the time im done.. maybe ill get it then.. i think ive master kindergarten.. or is it kintergarden.. :)...
I've never, ever noticed anything wrong with your grammar. Seriously.
See? I'm a fan of the non-sentence sentence. We all have our pet ways of snorting at English rudely. That's our privilege as speakers.
Who made these rules, anyway?
A blog IS informal and it's good to write the way you speak. Oh, and I'm glad you updated your sidebar to include Everly...THAT has worried me but I didn't want to be critical and point it out! I knew you had plenty to do without worrying about that!
What's a dangling modifier?
I'm going to have to look that one up....
Nothing like helping with homework to make you feel like you know NOTHING! Love your blog...and your writing!
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